Deep inside you feel a craving for something you can’t see, grasp or understand. A feeling of dissatisfaction for all that you previously held dear slowly consumes you. Ugly feelings of being discontent, unhappy, and misery continues to grow… until you start seeking.
… and … when the seeking begins… you get a little relief….
… the misery subsides… and you think for a moment that it was just a passing phase….
Then it comes….
The pull from inside… the magnet pull so strong you must obey.
It starts to build with a whisper in the back of your mind…. and you respond to it, “yes, yes” I’m getting there. Then the urgency builds and you feel a push a pull and then get a walop to leave your current surroundings and start yet another adventure.
You can’t deny it.
The terrible sense of isolation is your only friend.
Sure, you attempt to live in the mundane world with mundane levels of happiness.
Yes, it sits with you. The summoning.
But then the depression and anxiety hit and you’re dragged down into the depth of darkness.
The darkness. It consumes you.
Yet, you attempt to hold your head above water and act normal.
Yes, normally mundane… what bliss it would be to be stuck like that.
Your soul craves you to expand in ways the mundane world cannot fulfill. It’s time now.
You sink into despondency, despair and depression.
There’s nothing else to do except surrender.
Then it happens.
In that deep deep dark pit you start to create, evolve.
What do you create?
Nothing that can be seen or touched by the normal eyes.
The hidden, the unknown, the occult…. It consumes every essence you assumed was real.
The entire being of your matrix is questioned, probed and forced into the illumination of chaos.
Weeks, months and years seemingly go by. You haven’t got the strength to fight any more. It persists. It consumes you. It taunts you.
The illusion of the mind and the reality of the world falls away.
Nothing is real.
Nothing is known.
The darkness consumes.
Your entire being across realities breathes a deep sigh of relief. You feel it in the essence. It resonates a sigh of OM.
You are home.
You feel whole. Everything is you, you are everything. You are complete.
The mundane world dictates that the light is the savior, the good, the way. The mundane world dictates that darkness is evil, bad, temptress.
The light resides in illusion as it allows for a physical reality unlike no other. The light offer restrictions and struggle forcing one to awake.
The dark is unknown in itself unless you come through the light of life.
The Phoenix Rises