It has recently come to my attention that I have lived a lonely life. Now this isn’t something I have thought much about because I’ve been busy getting on with life and keeping myself preoccupied.
Often I have at least 5 different projects on the go….writing blogs, working on business, building websites, writing a new book, doing online marketing, and volunteering with the Wiruungga Organisation, and so on.
So my busy lifestyle has kept me sooo busy that I haven’t even wondered why I feel lonely.
I do feel lonely.
I was born and raised in an individualised society in which personal achievement is a main focus. My friends and family are all focused on making their own achievements and gaining a higher status. When I get together with friends the conversation usually revolves around what they did and how proud they are – and what I did and how proud I am.
Living in an individualised society all my life has made me a very independent person who is confident to tackle any task (nearly) on my own. I guard my time alone and deeply value it.
The problem with an individualised society – for me – is that there is a struggle to get support for things I can’t do on my own … like fixing the vehicle when it’s broken down… or getting a bowl of chicken soup when you’re sick. If you’ve got a tonne of money you can pay someone to help you….but sometimes you’re stuck struggling to do it yourself.
Deep inside I crave a community connection – to feel a sense of belonging.
Following that craving I spent time with a Bama family up North and really got a good feel for what is termed a collectivist society. Not sure if that term wholly fits my experience though.
If I needed something fix on my vehicle – they knew of someone.
If they wanted to go fishing while their vehicle was getting fixed – I drove them.
The main thing was that I wasn’t left alone to sort out things.
Everyone pitched in and helped out. It was fascinating to see and experience. If the dishes needed to be done – someone would step in. If the grandchildren needed to be tended to – someone was there. It was amazing how smoothly it all worked.
When I’m in that environment I do not feel lonely. I feel a sense of belonging. I feel cared for and loved. I think this is because I pitched in when it was needed to – and I looooved helping out! It gave me all these warm and fuzzy feelings inside. 🙂
It’s a wonderful feeling.
[NOTE from 2021: Since becoming an Emotion Code Practitioner I’ve been able to release the feeling of “loneliness”, as we release STUCK EMOTIONS in the physical body.]