ꕥ 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙂𝙖𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜?
In a toxic relationship gaslighting is when your narcissistic partner twists and manipulates everything you know as truth so that it’s completely different than what you remember, causing you to distrust yourself and trust them instead.
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙙𝙙𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢.
Have you ever spoke to someone and realised you both have a different memory of what happened?
This is natural because we have different perspectives of the world.
……..𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙩𝙤𝙭𝙞𝙘 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙣𝙖𝙧𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙧𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙧𝙖𝙯𝙮.
This technique is referred to as “Gaslighting”
I remember a time when I had felt such weakness for a guy. I was totally in love with him and, once more, gave in to seeing him again.
𝙔𝙖𝙝, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙞𝙘𝙚, 𝙚𝙝.
…. but, I really wanted to make it work! (ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴍʏsᴇʟғ)
⍨ I had hope that whatever issues that were between us could be fixed, or we could come to some sort of agreement that would work for both of us.
⍨ We were at a cafe catching up. I was filled with hope.
⍨ Then he started going on about this young woman he was seeing.
⍨ I started feeling uncomfortable in my body.
⍨ There was this awful feeling coming up in me.
⍨ I remember it clearly. I had no control over it.
⍨ It was as if his story was feeding my insecurities.
⍨ I asked him a question about the woman. He exploded in anger.
“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨!” 𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙞𝙙.
“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙚!” 𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙞𝙨𝙚𝙙.
“𝙒𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙧𝙪𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙩𝙤𝙜𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧!”
⍨ Tears welled up in my eyes. My thoughts questioned myself, “Why was I always messing things up?”
⍨ I wished I didn’t do that any more. (He had me believing I was not good enough.)
After a few minutes of me whimpering in conversation and me trying to apologise to him. Saying that I should know him by now. That I should trust him.
“I was just mindfucking you!”, and he then laughed.
𝙂𝘼𝙎𝙇𝙄𝙂𝙃𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙥𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙘 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙨𝙪𝙗𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩.
Gaslighting is to control and trick you to believing you are losing your mind.
Some narcissists go as far as: moving your things so you can’t find them, deleting your emails without your knowing, telling your friends that you’re crazy – and then telling you he warned them about you, and ….. well, I’m sure you have your own stories!
𝙋𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙜𝙖𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙚. ☟ ☟ ☟ ☟ ☟
There are many things a narcissistic will do to have control over you.
…… which I’m sure if you’ve read this far…..
…… you are well aware of…..
☉ You feel stuck in the relationship.
☉ You’ve lost all hope of getting out.
☉ You don’t believe you can ever heal.
☉ You are zapped of energy.
☉ You’ve lost your motivation to do self care.
☉ You have no more energy to build your business.
☉ Your friends and family tell you he’s no good for you… but you’re so addicted you can’t get out.
☉ You lost your confidence.
☉ You are so confused why this is happening to you.
☉ You don’t have the self-esteem or self-confidence you used to have.
☉ You feel as if you’ve lost full control of your life, your emotions, your thoughts and….
☉ Have lost hope.
Even if you feel just one or two of the above is true for you, then it’s time for you to get support!!
Now, if you think you’re too strong and won’t ever let this happen to you….
Let me warn you now that gaslighting comes on so slowly you don’t realise it … until you’ve been brainwashed and are addicted to the patterns.
These patterns create a chemical in your brain similar to an addiction of playing lottery.
√ I help women in business heal from toxic patterns and move on from an unhealthy relationship so they can reclaim their Goddess Powers and Feminine Self and focus on moving their life forward and launching their business to the next level.
√ If you’re resonating with this it would be my deepest honour to support you.