Last night I had a vivid dream. My school mate, Barb, had written me a letter. It was a lovely letter that described all the fun things we did together. It was a letter of memories. She said, “Do you remember when we did this together? We went to help that boy and then suddenly he was better.” She reminded me of a few particular events where we had interacted with a person who was sick or hurt and then how they got better then or soon after. And at the end of the letter she asked me, “Are you a healer?”

I woke up right after she asked that question and sat in bed wondering why the ancestors were asking that.

You see, although a knew a girl named Barb at school we weren’t really friends. We didn’t really do those things she mentioned in the letter. There was this one girl though who was hospitalised because she didn’t want to eat. We were the same age. I visited her in hospital and we talked. The next day she left hospital and I saw her riding a bike. I spoke truth to her. Something she didn’t hear before I guess. Her parents thanked me. They were very grateful.

When a dream is not really truth then you ponder upon it’s true meaning. Someone was asking me if I was a healer. I searched my feelings – still do.

In my adult years I was initiated into Reiki. I had two Reiki Masters attune me to the level of Reiki Master. (Master certainly doesn’t mean that you’ve mastered it. Just means that you’re dedicated to it). I’ve been frustrated with Reiki for years now even though I use it on myself daily. I’m frustrated because it doesn’t do quick and magical healings. Not that I’ve seen anyways.

Last week I was healed by a Traditional Healer, an Australian Aboriginal by the name of Miliwanga Wurrben from Arnhem land. She used a bush medicine oil and rubbed it on me and then took away the negative energy that was causing my pain. It was instantly gone. She used the same techniques that I have used in Reiki before. Yet something was different.

When the Medicine Man healed my thyroid the results were instant – that day – even though it flipped to hyper two weeks after – later it normalised itself. Thyroid healed.

Am I a healer?

The dream asks. It invites query.

The depth of healing is important to me. I’m not going to fuss about with sending someone energy that helps them heal – and then see them continue on the same pattern that caused the illness. I’ve seen that too many times in Reiki.

There’s knowledge I’m missing.

Are you a healer?

The dream asks.

There’s no answer.

Not yet.